Posts tagged as:

Weight

In Celebration of Valentines Day – 14 Ways to Love Yourself More

Let’s get straight down to it…and spread the positive word that Valentines Day should be just as much about self love as it is romantic love…

1. Dress the way you want.  Don’t be too concerned with what’s currently doing the fashion rounds or what anyone says should and shouldn’t go together or is ‘right’ for your body.  If you love the way you look and feel in something then you’re dressing with love.

2. Give yourself a break.  If you are harder on yourself than anyone you know it’s totally time to give that up.  It’s not serving you or making you a better person.  Let’s move on shall we?

3. Treat yourself.  No money spent on you for something that brings a smile to your face and joy to your heart is ever wasted.  Go get it girl!

4. Get yourself a wee bit more organised; or even totally organised.  Might sound super boring but if you can manage to get yourself out from under that pile of paperwork/dishes/general gunk and stuff, you will have so much more creative and loving flow in your life.

5. Take stock.  Of your surroundings, relationships, commitments and influences as a whole.  Promise yourself that now is the time to only engage with people and things that fully serve you and help you be your best.  Gently let go of the rest.

6. Do something you love to do or even think you might love to do.  If you’ve always wanted to try yoga, web design, cake decorating or scuba diving show yourself some love by delving into your curiosity and doing it.  Life’s for living.

7. Recognise once and truly for pity’s sake end of the earth all time no holds barred freakin’ I’m really gonna get it this time…that you only get one body.  Love it.  Nurture it.  Be kind to it.  And stop obsessing.  Enjoy the ride beautiful you in the form you’ve been given. 

8. Throw away your scales.  Don’t waste a moment more concerned with a number.  Your life will be over before you know it and what you weighed will be utterly inconsequential.

9. Sleep.  Seriously.  If you’re feeling overwhelmed and frazzled find some time to just lie down and rest.  Fall asleep for as long as you need to so your body can recharge.  Sometimes it’s the most simple but loving thing you can do to ‘reset.’

10. Ask for what you want.  Really want.  At work.  In bed.  From your Mother.  Of yourself.  Prepare yourself for getting it.

11. Show yourself the kindness you show others.  If it’s good for them honey – it sure is good for you too.  Buy yourself flowers.  Write a lovely note encouraging you and tuck it away ready to read again on your birthday.  Talk positively to yourself.

12. Enough with the comparisons.  While your comparing your bank balance, body, wardrobe, children’s abilities or entire life to someone else worrying yourself inside out your life is not as ‘good’ as theirs is – they’re living it.  You can’t have their body or children or life.  You’ve got something better – yours.  There’s nothing to compare.  She’s incomparable.  You’re incomparable.  Love and leave.  Then live.

13. Eat what you want.  Yeah that.  Drop the deprivation, diets and unmet desires for food you want to have but for a myriad of punishing reasons tell yourself you shouldn’t or can’t have.  Have faith in your body by giving it what it tells you it wants in a mindful, calm, loving way.  And goddamn it – enjoy it.

14. Start something.  That dream or goal or wish or want that’s been tucked in the back of your head and heart for months or even years now?  Get it out of your head and onto paper, a vision board, into a conversation and your life.  Show yourself true love by following through with what’s tugging at your heart instead of just thinking about it.

Happy Valentines Day Beautiful You. 

Tagged as: Body Image, Body Love, Comparisons, Creativity, Curiosity, Deprivation, Diets, Dreams, Fashion, Food, Goals, Kindness, Life, Living, Love, Mindful Eating, Organisation, Overwhelm, Positive Thinking, Positivity, Self Love, Sleep, Valentines Day, Weight

{ 17 comments }

You Are Lovable at Any Size

This post is inspired by the latest promotional ads for the 2012 Biggest Loser which are trying to sell you, me and the world the concept that for any person to be deserving of love – ‘ready for love’ – they must lose weight and be thin.  They’re wrong.  You can love yourself and be loved at any size.  Any.

 Image: The Examiner

Listen Up Beautiful You 

I’ve got something to say.

It’s important and I need you to read it, hear it and let it morph into your soul.  Really, really, morph.

You are beautiful and divine just as you are.

You do not need to take up less space in this world.  Your fat, curvaceous, tall, big, broad, voluptuous, curvy, adipose, magnificent self can take up all the space you deem you so require.

What shape or size you are has nothing to do with how lovable you are.

To be ready for any form of love you want or need you do not need to diet or whittle yourself away.

The love you are and the love you are attracting or not attracting in your life is not related to your shape or size.  It’s all what’s happening in the space between your ears.  Truth.  Own it and work on it if you need to.  Do it for you.  Beautiful You.

Don’t let anyone or anything attempt to convince you that you will never meet the man or woman of your dreams unless you meet a strict media driven requirement of being thin, perky, shiny and thin.

Get ready to move on if you think for one moment that there are not people out there having mind blowing, outrageously good and hot physical intimacy and sex.  They are.  They really, really are.

Untangle yourself from any notion, noggin, thought or entire belief system that the reason you aren’t lovable or beautiful or attractive or sexy or desirable is because of your shape or size.  I don’t need to see you to know this.

Move on gorgeous one.  Move on from any thought or any belief that you have to be smaller, thinner, less than you are right now to feel and know and have the love you deserve.  Give that love to yourself and watch others illuminate from your example.

Give that love to yourself and see a world of love open up to you.

Tagged as: Diet, Fat Acceptance, Intimacy, Love, Media, Romantic Love, Self Love, Sex, Shape, Size, The Biggest Loser, Thin, Thin Ideal, Weight

{ 14 comments }

Julie Goodwin Says No To Diet Industry

Like so many people caught up in the juggernaut that was the first season of Masterchef, I fell a little in love with its first winner Julie Goodwin.  She was a beautiful cook, loving Mum and so relatable.  Her amazing success from that winning moment years ago does not seem to have changed her warm and very real personality in any way.  Every time I see her in a cooking segment on the Today Show she continues to shine in the same natural and unaffected way she did when she nervously first appeared on TV.  It has made me respect and admire her.

And now I do even more so.

In August this year Julie wrote her version of events about turning down an approach by Jenny Craig to promote their business, stating that it wasn’t right for her and sending the message that she did not understand why her, or anyone else’s weight, was such a big deal.  Indeed!  Julie has now further spoken out about her thoughts on the diet industry as a whole and how she “gets sick of being beaten up by the fat police” for not including more lower fat recipes in her cookbooks and that “the diet industry makes a lot of money feeding off people’s insecurity.”

The diet industry?  Feeding off people’s insecurities?  Surely not?

Surely yes.

Julie is absolutely spot on in her observations about the diet, weight loss and body shaming industries that consistently feed to people they are not acceptable as they are and MUST do something about it.  In particular, that they MUST do something about their weight and body.  If you’re looking for an example of this, how about this horrendous one by Optislim.

Deliberately shaming.  Deliberately feeding into potential insecurities.  All so they can emotionally push someone into purchasing their product, diet, system etc.

And the use of these things?  Universally known to be, well, useless.  The research now is overwhelming and everywhere.  Diets do not work.  They do not have the magic impact they so often claim they will, not only because of the physical, mental and emotional deprivation they create but put simply, if the ultimate goal of a diet is for someone to be thin – that’s simply not going to happen for a LOT of people.  We are not all meant to be thin.  We’re just not.  Beautiful and healthy people come in thousands of combinations of different shapes and sizes.  Small.  Tall.  Fat.  Curvaceous.  Athletic.  Muscular.  Petite.  And the list goes on. 

Brava Julie!  I just love the message you are spreading about the enjoyment of whole and beautiful food cooked with love.  I love even more how you embrace yourself and your body and are being a shining example of encouraging other people to do the same.  That makes you pretty special in my eyes and I’m sure many others too.

Tagged as: Diet Industry, Diets, Diversity, Health, Insecurity, Jenny Craig, Julie Goodwin, Masterchef, Real Beauty, Today Show, Weight, Weight Loss Industry

{ 4 comments }

An Interview with The Inner Gremlin Buster – Andrea Owen

When I think back to the very beginnings of the Beautiful You blog I often think of Andrea Owen.  Andrea was one of the very first people I connected with on Twitter because she was always communicating such great information about body image.  My kinda woman!  When I threw out to the Universe I was thinking about starting a blog, Andrea was the very first person to respond and encourage me to ‘Do It!’ and here we are today.  Am I grateful?  You bet I am.

Andrea is an amazing woman that I greatly admire as a fellow coach and for how open and honest she is in everything she does.  Her business is her and what you see and experience with Andrea is as real as it gets.  I’m so delighted she agree to do this interview with me and in particular share with you all her best tips on how to beat down that nasty inner critic we all sometimes have.  Enjoy!

What are you most passionate about?  That is a loaded  question for me because I am multi-passionate about many things. In my early 20′s I was told I had to “pick one” and just do that, which made me sad and added to my ever-growing list of things that I thought were wrong with me. Then I found the term “scanner” coined by Barbara Sher and I was free to be ME in that arena (if you’re multi-passionate too, google it!).  If I had to narrow it down to one thing, I’m most passionate about women finding and living their own authentic self.  To love being in their own skin, to love themselves and work at it.  To break free from this “box” they have learned to live in.  To not apologize for who they are, get to know themselves and embrace their own beautiful uniqueness.   

What experience in life has helped you to grow the most?  My divorce.  It forced me to be alone for the first time since I was a teenager (I was 30 when we split) and I had wrapped myself so much in him and the relationship, and esteemed myself through him, not only did I not know who I was, but I hated who I had become.  I had to take full responsibility for this life I had created, the life I thought I wanted.  When it came crashing down (The Universe’s gift to me) I had no one to turn to but me.  I had a support system, but getting to know myself was scary, amazing, challenging, hopeful and the best thing I could have ever asked for. I learned that the hole in my heart could not be filled with the love of any man, being thin, alcohol or shopping (trust me, I tried them all).  It was God and me.  I’m still learning this, and I always come back to that. 

Why are you so passionate about body image?  It started with my own struggles.  Throughout my 20′s I battled EDNOS and my worth depended on my weight, my size  and I was no where near loving myself.  Finally, after some traumatic events I decided I didn’t want that kind of life and that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I saw a tiny light of what it would be like to be my greatest, most magnificent self.  It was scary, took a lot of work (still does!) but I’ve changed my life.  I knew there were hundreds of thousands of women like me, that hated their bodies, weren’t happy with who they were, that were sick and tired of being sick and tired but didn’t know what to do about it.  I felt it was my calling to help and serve these women.  I’ve been on both sides and I know without a doubt a life where I love myself has given me everything I could ever dream of.  I know it sounds very “woo woo”, but it’s the truth. 

What on earth is an ‘Inner Gremlin’ (!) and why are you helping women kick it’s ass?  Your gremlin is your inner-critic, the voice in your head that might tell you that you aren’t good enough, makes comments about the way you look or your weight.  It also disempowers you by making up stories about what “could” happen if you decided to take a big risk, follow your dreams or make any change.  Even if life is going great, often the gremlin comes in and tells you that the other shoe is sure to drop. Gremlins don’t like change and they live in fear.  In my coaching, we work thorough these gremlins using different exercises and tools.  Gremlins never go away permanently, bur you can manage it.  Sometimes it needs a little ass kicking, yes!  But, other times, we can embrace them and learn to work with them.  It all depends on you.  I have seen drastic changes in women’s lives just by learning the simple techniques I teach. 

What are your best 3 tips for any wannabe Gremlin ass kickers out there?  The biggest tip is awareness.  Start to become aware of this inner voice.  Some people find this the most painful part, but it’s really the first step.  I ask my clients to make lists of what they hear to try to nail down patterns.  Another tip is to get what I call a “gremlin buddy.”  A friend where you share your gremlins, tell each other what your gremlin says to you and when.  This should be a trusted friend and there should be no judgement there.  Chances are, your gremlins are very similar!  The point of this is when you are talking to this friend, perhaps you say, “I really want to go after this promotion, but I’m not sure that I have enough…..” and your friend can point out that this is your gremlin speaking, not your true self.  It’s like having an accountability partner to better your life.  Another tip is to personify your gremlin.  What does he/she look like?  Some people’s gremlins are versions of themselves, just a little different.  Others see monsters, villains from movies, and some are just an energy.  By having this tangible vision, you can start to separate that voice and the true voice of your soul. 

Andrea Owen is a professional life coach and speaker.  She is passionate about empowering women and girls to value their character and feel beautiful by manifesting respect and love for themselves first and foremost.  She has helped hundreds of people manage their inner-critic to break through and live their most kick-ass life.  Get the ebook and workbook, “Kick Your Gremlin’s Ass: Manage Your Inner-Critic to Live a Kick-Ass Life”.   W: http://yourkickasslife.com  F: http://facebook.com/yourkickasslife  T: http://twitter.com/andrea_owen 

Tagged as: Andrea Owen, Authenticity, Beautiful You Interview, Body Image, Change, Divorce, Dreams, EDNOS, Friends, Inner Critic, Inner Gremlin, Life Coach, Passion, Relationships, Risk, Self Love, Self Talk, Size, Support, Weight, Women

{ 3 comments }

Diet Books Are Not For Girls.

We live in an amazing world.  One that’s filled with opportunities.  Wonder.  Beauty.  And from time to time even a little magic.  Despite that at least being my perspective, being a girl in today’s world is not always easy.  There’s undoubtedly more opportunities for girls and women than ever before, but I also think in certain circumstances, more pressure.  Pressure to perform and achieve.  But mostly pressure to look a certain way and be a certain size.  Surrounded (or should I say bombarded) with messages of the thin ideal, beauty norms, fast moving fashion and yes, sexualised advertising and concepts, many girls are growing up with shaky self worth and body image.  We know this because they tell us so.  They’re feelin it.  They really are.

We can all play a part in helping children feel more positive and loving about themselves no matter what they look like and if you would like my tips for parents on how to do this, please take a look at this guest post on Childhood 101.  It was written some time ago now but all the sentiments about taking care of you, not dieting, not putting yourself down and more, all still ring true.  I often suggest positive things people can do to help themselves and others they love and I’m not afraid to also suggest things they outright shouldn’t do.  Today I have another shouldn’t.

If you have a daughter or a loved little girl, tween or teen in your life I implore you to not buy this book called ‘Maggie Goes on a Diet.’  Where I do begin?  Let’s take a look at the description that comes with the book written by Paul M.Kramer.   

“Maggie has so much potential (Of course she does!  She’s a girl with her whole life ahead of her) that has been hiding under her extra weight. (Uh-oh.  How did that happen?  Maggie did have potential but now it’s been found out she’s got ’extra weight’ she of course is ashamed and cannot be living up to all she is meant to be.)  This inspiring story about a 14 year old who goes on a diet (What?  A children’s book that is encouraging girls to go on diets?  Diets we know don’t work.  Diets we know are dangerous.  Diets we know can set a child on a path to an eating disorder or disordered eating.  Excuse me while I look up the meaning of the word inspirational) and is transformed from being overweight and insecure (Why is it that because of the way Maggie looks that automatically means she has to be insecure?  Um.  Is the book actually trying to shame children?  I’m losing the inspiration here!) to a normal sized teen (And what pray tell is that?) who becomes the school soccer star. (Ahhh…yes.  Right on.  Because we all know that it is only thin children who are active and enjoy and are good at sport and activities.)  Through time, exercise and hard work, (Cue dieting shame.  Deprivation.  Closer steps to an eating disorder) Maggie becomes more and more confident and develops a positive self image.” (Of course she does!  Because it’s not possible to have positive body image and feel loving and confident about yourself if you’re not thin.  Someone please play the Cinderella theme song.  The happy ending has arrived and of course Maggie gets to fit into that gorgeous pink dress she’s looking at longingly in the mirror.)

This book is an abomination and I pray it never makes it to print which is meant to happen in October.  Without even reading a word, clearly based on what can be seen from the cover and blurb, this book is shaming, dangerous, ill informed and should never be read or given to a child.  And I am not the only person and professional who believes so.  This discussion at Amazon regarding the upcoming book is filled with comments that make it very clear this is a book that will do nothing more than promote body hatred, futile dieting, disordered eating and the potential descent into an eating disorder.   

Some of you may be saying – but what about Maggie’s health?  Shouldn’t we be trying to help children be healthy?  Absolutely we should but believing that weight and health are inextricably linked is a mistake.  The best way to learn more about this can be found in this post I wrote entitled ‘What To Do If You Think Your Child Is Overweight.’  It’s filled with body positive tips that can support any child to feel amazing about themselves no matter what their shape or size and be healthy too.  And if you are looking for a truly wonderful book though that you can read with a child about food, weight and being body positive can I recommend “Full Mouse, Empty Mouse: A Tale of Food and Feelings” by Dina Zeckhausen.  It’s a beautifully written story that has a special emphasis on helping children to understand why sometimes when we experience negative feelings like sadness or loneliness, that we can feel like eating more than is comfortable for us, or turning away from food and not eating enough.  It’s a beautiful story for children that they will love and will be a delight for you to read.

Again.  I repeat.  Diet books are not for girls.  Or boys.  It’s bad enough that millions of dollars are spent by adults on diet books that miserably fail them.  Let’s not encourage our precious children to start thinking they need to buy diet books or go on diets.  Let’s finally wake up to the fact that dieting is futile and books such as this one do nothing more than teach children they should ashamed of their bodies and try to restrict food to fit an ideal that they, and we, don’t even get to set.

Tagged as: Advertising, Body Image, Body Shame, Children, Confidence, Dieting, Diets, Dina Zeckhausen, Disordered Eating, Eating Disorders, Full Mouse Empty Mouse, Girls, Health, Insecurity, Maggie Goes on a Diet, Parenting, Paul M Kramer, Potential, Pressure, Sexualisation, Thin Ideal, Weight

{ 16 comments }

The Inspiring Aimee Mullins

Let me introduce you to the newest Face of L’Oreal – Aimee Mullins. 

Image

Pretty gorgeous huh?  Well, I don’t think that can be denied and one would hardly expect an international cosmetics company to choose anyone else other than a beautiful model or actress to front their line, but in this case, Aimee’s beauty goes further than skin deep.

Born without fibula bones, Aimee had both her legs amputated below her knees shortly after birth and has worn prosthetic limbs all her life.  Far from letting her disability negatively impact her view of herself Aimee has the most amazing perspective on her body: “It takes some women till their 30s or even 40s to realise that what makes them beautiful is not what makes them the same as everyone else, but what sets them apart,’ she says.  ‘I got there earlier.  First I had to accept that I wasn’t normal, and then I learned that what I had been told would be a weakness wasn’t.  So by my 20s I was able to think, “Thank God I am not normal, because I get to be extraordinary instead.”  Even experiencing bullying as a child, Aimee’s take on that too is incredibly matter of fact and refreshing: “Whether it is your height, your weight or your skin, someone is going to pick on something and make fun of it. My legs were just a more obvious target.”

Just to add to Aimee’s inner and outer beauty, her body and accomplishments are also incredible from another perspective – just in case she needed another string to add to her bow.  Aimee is an Olympian and at the Atlantic Paralympics set world records in the 100 and 200 metres events and still holds the record for the long jump.  How extraordinary does Aimee look in this photo below?  So strong, powerful and graceful.  It’s the sort of image that could change the way many of us view people with disabilities forever.

I so wish we saw more incredible women like Aimee in the public eye because I absolutely know there are more out there doing and achieving amazing things while looking and being incredibly beautiful to boot.  Let’s also hope that an international company like L’Oreal will continue to widen their definition of beauty and other cosmetic and fashion companies follow suit by showcasing the beauty of disabled woman more.  We need to see more amazing women like Aimee in the public eye.  The inspiration they can bring to so many is immeasurable.

Tagged as: Actress, Aimee Mullins, Body Image, Bullying, Cosmetics, Disability, Inspirations, L'Oreal, Model, Olympian, Paralympics, Real Beauty, Weight

{ 10 comments }

← Previous Entries