When I think back to the very beginnings of the Beautiful You blog I often think of Andrea Owen. Andrea was one of the very first people I connected with on Twitter because she was always communicating such great information about body image. My kinda woman! When I threw out to the Universe I was thinking about starting a blog, Andrea was the very first person to respond and encourage me to ‘Do It!’ and here we are today. Am I grateful? You bet I am.
Andrea is an amazing woman that I greatly admire as a fellow coach and for how open and honest she is in everything she does. Her business is her and what you see and experience with Andrea is as real as it gets. I’m so delighted she agree to do this interview with me and in particular share with you all her best tips on how to beat down that nasty inner critic we all sometimes have. Enjoy!
What are you most passionate about? That is a loaded question for me because I am multi-passionate about many things. In my early 20′s I was told I had to “pick one” and just do that, which made me sad and added to my ever-growing list of things that I thought were wrong with me. Then I found the term “scanner” coined by Barbara Sher and I was free to be ME in that arena (if you’re multi-passionate too, google it!). If I had to narrow it down to one thing, I’m most passionate about women finding and living their own authentic self. To love being in their own skin, to love themselves and work at it. To break free from this “box” they have learned to live in. To not apologize for who they are, get to know themselves and embrace their own beautiful uniqueness.
What experience in life has helped you to grow the most? My divorce. It forced me to be alone for the first time since I was a teenager (I was 30 when we split) and I had wrapped myself so much in him and the relationship, and esteemed myself through him, not only did I not know who I was, but I hated who I had become. I had to take full responsibility for this life I had created, the life I thought I wanted. When it came crashing down (The Universe’s gift to me) I had no one to turn to but me. I had a support system, but getting to know myself was scary, amazing, challenging, hopeful and the best thing I could have ever asked for. I learned that the hole in my heart could not be filled with the love of any man, being thin, alcohol or shopping (trust me, I tried them all). It was God and me. I’m still learning this, and I always come back to that.
Why are you so passionate about body image? It started with my own struggles. Throughout my 20′s I battled EDNOS and my worth depended on my weight, my size and I was no where near loving myself. Finally, after some traumatic events I decided I didn’t want that kind of life and that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I saw a tiny light of what it would be like to be my greatest, most magnificent self. It was scary, took a lot of work (still does!) but I’ve changed my life. I knew there were hundreds of thousands of women like me, that hated their bodies, weren’t happy with who they were, that were sick and tired of being sick and tired but didn’t know what to do about it. I felt it was my calling to help and serve these women. I’ve been on both sides and I know without a doubt a life where I love myself has given me everything I could ever dream of. I know it sounds very “woo woo”, but it’s the truth.
What on earth is an ‘Inner Gremlin’ (!) and why are you helping women kick it’s ass? Your gremlin is your inner-critic, the voice in your head that might tell you that you aren’t good enough, makes comments about the way you look or your weight. It also disempowers you by making up stories about what “could” happen if you decided to take a big risk, follow your dreams or make any change. Even if life is going great, often the gremlin comes in and tells you that the other shoe is sure to drop. Gremlins don’t like change and they live in fear. In my coaching, we work thorough these gremlins using different exercises and tools. Gremlins never go away permanently, bur you can manage it. Sometimes it needs a little ass kicking, yes! But, other times, we can embrace them and learn to work with them. It all depends on you. I have seen drastic changes in women’s lives just by learning the simple techniques I teach.
What are your best 3 tips for any wannabe Gremlin ass kickers out there? The biggest tip is awareness. Start to become aware of this inner voice. Some people find this the most painful part, but it’s really the first step. I ask my clients to make lists of what they hear to try to nail down patterns. Another tip is to get what I call a “gremlin buddy.” A friend where you share your gremlins, tell each other what your gremlin says to you and when. This should be a trusted friend and there should be no judgement there. Chances are, your gremlins are very similar! The point of this is when you are talking to this friend, perhaps you say, “I really want to go after this promotion, but I’m not sure that I have enough…..” and your friend can point out that this is your gremlin speaking, not your true self. It’s like having an accountability partner to better your life. Another tip is to personify your gremlin. What does he/she look like? Some people’s gremlins are versions of themselves, just a little different. Others see monsters, villains from movies, and some are just an energy. By having this tangible vision, you can start to separate that voice and the true voice of your soul.
Andrea Owen is a professional life coach and speaker. She is passionate about empowering women and girls to value their character and feel beautiful by manifesting respect and love for themselves first and foremost. She has helped hundreds of people manage their inner-critic to break through and live their most kick-ass life. Get the ebook and workbook, “Kick Your Gremlin’s Ass: Manage Your Inner-Critic to Live a Kick-Ass Life”. W: http://yourkickasslife.com F: http://facebook.com/yourkickasslife T: http://twitter.com/andrea_owen
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