I guess you would have been rather sheltered to not know that Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married this week. The ‘Wedding of the Century’ as it is being called is certainly global news and what wonderful news it is when of late we have been burdened with so many natural disasters. Nothing can take the pain of such experiences away except time and natural healing, but the magic of a grand wedding and the love that surrounds that is a lovely thing for the world to witness right now.
As with any wedding there is a great deal of focus on the beautiful bride to be. She appears to me to be a lovely young woman who is much in love with her Prince, as, most importantly, considering his parents marriage, he is with her. There’s nothing like love to make you look beautiful and indeed feel beautiful. Like so many other brides, even those not about to become a Princess, I am sure Kate is feeling a giddy mix of excitement and nerves. I guess one billion people watching you get married, let alone your family and friends like all the weddings I have been to, and the one I have been a bride in, will do that to you, apart from marrying the man of your dreams.
What makes Kate’s bridal plans so exceptional of course is the fact that the world right now is watching her every move. Considering she is marrying into the most famous and well known Royal family in the world this is not surprising. Even though some may disagree with it, the duties of the English Royal family are very entertwined with the British people and considering British tax payers are footing a considerable portion of the wedding bill it’s understandable people will be fascinated with her, him and the big day.
While very aware of this public fascination, the one thing I had hoped for Kate in the lead up to her wedding was that the scrutiny and commentary on her weight, diet and appearance (no links from me – they’re everywhere if you really want to seek them out), would not be both so prominent or in certain instances, so cruel. Then again, should I really be surprised when outside of royal circles and in every day life we have television shows that get brides to be to compete for plastic surgery? Such has become the intense pressure to be a hot, thin and perfect bride on nearly every woman getting married, it’s become a cultural phenonemon that is exceptionally hard to ignore and even resist.
How amazing it would have been if the world’s media (and in particular the British tabloids) had chosen not to comment on Kate in this way. None of it is necessary. I understand the fascination and the need for photo’s and footage of public appearances. A discrete snap of having lunch out or shopping is possibly even ok. Commentary on these appearances, the designers she is wearing, her royal duties and even future babies is all to be expected. But snide comments on any weight loss or gain, sniping at her dress choice, criticism of the way she wears her hair? None of it is necessary. Have the paparazzi and media really learned their lesson from all those years ago when William’s Mother, Princess Diana, silently suffered with an eating disorder for many years, was persistently criticised for her dress choice and spending (despite now being considered a ‘style icon’) and eventually met her death while in a car chase, speeding away from paparazzi? Seems not.
We all play a part in this and not just for the reporting about Kate, but indeed all celebrities and people in the public eye. While
people such as myself, and I know many of you, while bemoan this form of cruel and critical reporting, we have to take things further than just saying it’s not ok. Why? Because clearly there is a market for this type of media, even though I loathe it and wish there wasn’t. We must send a message to editors, reporters, advertisers and wider media outlets that we simply aren’t interested in the best bikini body stories, the how quick a new Mum has lost her baby weight stories, the worst dressed list stories and the ongoing scrutiny of the weight, diet and shape of people such as Kate Middleton.
How do we do it? It’s easier than you may think. Don’t buy magazines that have this sort of reporting as their fodder. Avoid publications and sites that use paparazzi taken intrusive photographs of what should be private moments. Do not click on ads at internet sites that earn their living out of making fun out of belittling people and driving a thin culture. Do not frequent celebrity and gossip blogs that feed off body shaming media.
And beyond this? Talk openly with children and young people about how someone’s weight, size and shape is no one’s business but their own. Create a family and friendship culture that is accepting of differences. Teach children to stand up for themselves and others when they are being teased about their appearance. Honour ourselves as human beings whose value is so much more than what we look like.
Then we will begin to see a lack of interest in such media reporting which in turn will force publications and outlets to think very quickly about what they are feeding us and the fact we are turning away. Only then can we hope to have any impact on ensuring the apallingly cruel weight, body shame and appearance focused stories that abound, cease.
While I wish for this and have refused to comment to media outlets who have been asking me to pass comment on Kate’s weight for the past month, I can only wish her and her Prince all the very best. According to a news report I have seen on TV today, William has supposedly asked the Queen that Kate not be expected to undertake a heavy load of royal engagements for at least two years so he can help her ease into a Royal and very public life. Sounds like a very smart idea to me and indeed, the perfect amount of time for the media circus to start giving us stories that are more balanced, positive and uplifting.
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