Let’s get the super important stuff out on the table first.
You are amazing, worthy and beautiful just. as. you. are. There’s no denying that from my camp and I hope you believe that about yourself too.
But. And yes – there’s a but.
Despite your amazingness, worthiness and beauty - you will never be able to get every person you ever come in touch with to love you, or for that matter, even like you. And that’s ok. Truly it is.
You might be wondering – but why? If I am a good, kind, positive and giving person – why wouldn’t everyone like me and even love me? Why wouldn’t they see the beauty in me that others do and I do for myself?
Well…there’s lots of reasons and most of them you will need to come to peace with never actually knowing.
We cannot know the reason why we meet someone at a networking event, give them our card and they never email us. Even when they say they would.
We cannot know why he never called. Even when he said he would.
We cannot know why we try to connect with another Mum at playgroup and she just doesn’t reciprocate. Even when we want to be friends.
We cannot know why we think someone decides not to buy our products or engage with our services. Even when we believe them to be our perfect customer.
We just cannot know why – unless of course we chase for the answer. But conversations that have a beginning in ‘Why don’t you like me?’ or ‘Why won’t you respond to me?’ so often, I find, don’t have a happy ending.
So what’s the answer when we truly believe we are worth someone connecting with us, liking us, loving us – and it just doesn’t happen?
Don’t contort, manipulate, stretch and turn yourself inside out. Don’t turn on yourself and think there must be something ‘wrong’ with you. Don’t waste any of your precious time and life on something you can’t control.
Because while we all may want someone’s approval, or friendship, or respect, or love – we genuinely have no control over whether or not someone chooses to give it to us. It’s a choice. Their choice. Someone else’s choice. It’s never our choice. Our decision to make. Our love to give.
All you, we and me can do is be our truest and most genuine self. The people who are then meant to come to us and be with us and like and love us will be. Those who are not will not.
Focus all your love and attention on those people who are your people. Those who easily flow and connect with you and everything you are. Those with whom you can utterly be yourself – all the time.
Let go of those people who are not your people. Those for whatever reason, entirely out of your control, who move towards others. Let them go with love.
And know that more beautiful and amazing people are out there waiting for you to show up into their lives. Always.
There’s always more love for beautiful and amazing people like you.