I was delighted to be asked last week to host an online chat by the Connect2Mums AusMumpreneur Network, spending the evening with an amazing group of women who were all looking to build their personal and business confidence. It was real. Even raw. And we spent the whole time talking about the ‘C’ word!
There was so much goodness and inspiration that came out of the chat I thought it worthwhile to share with you all some of the main highlights of what we discussed, because, let’s be honest – who doesn’t want to build up just that little bit of extra confidence, self-belief and sassiness? Considering how all these things can open up your heart and mind to play an even bigger starring role in your own life – I think confidence building at it’s heart is for us all.
So here are the tips I shared on how to build your confidence. They’re yours. Take them.
Believing in ourselves can sometimes be hard (even though it shouldn’t be) but it’s important to remember that if YOU don’t believe in YOU – you cannot expect anyone else to. Think about whether it’s doable or fair to expect others to believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself? It begins with you! Beautiful You.
We are all works in progress and our level of confidence and self-belief fluctuates regularly which is perfectly normal and ok. We all have down moments, days and even weeks. The most important thing is to get back up and on with the business of being your best self as soon as you can.
Don’t compare yourself or what you do with anyone else. It doesn’t serve you in any way and while it’s ok to draw inspiration and ideas from others – it’s futile to compare you to anyone else as you are entirely unique. You don’t have to replicate anyone or anything – you just need to be YOU. And from there…your belief and confidence in yourself will soar.
Do what is best for YOU! Don’t do what others think is right — do what you think and feel is best for you both personally and professionally. Learn from every decision you make – and take pride in the fact you are making ‘big calls’ on your own steam. If you continue to do this you cannot help to grow and build your confidence muscles.
Focus on things you are good at. This is one of the most direct ways confidence is built. We all have special talents and skills and spending time developing those is super important in building your confidence. Far too often we focus on the things that aren’t going right or we don’t do well and don’t stop enough to celebrate and congratulate ourselves on what we so often do well.
Accept compliments! Have you ever thought about a compliment as a gift? Something that someone gives to you in a positive way and therefore to refuse it or slap it back at someone is rather rude! That’s a great way to think about compliments…someone has chosen to share and give you something beautiful. Best to not insult them and turn it down!
Try to get your body language to mirror your self-confidence. Stand up straight, sit tall, walk with your head-up, shoulders high. Look people in the eye when you speak to them. Shake hands firmly. Smile. When it comes to being confident in how you carry yourself and your body…some might think it’s a bit strange for me to say or believe this – but a little bit of ‘fake it ’till you make it’ – doesn’t hurt. To me, that is not being in-authentic it’s about facing a situation that may see you a bit nervous and bracing your body by taking a big deep breath, lifting your head and smiling through it.
Don’t be afraid to go out of your comfort zone…that’s where you will find your wings. Do things that stretch you and even scare you a little. Public speaking. Being on a panel. Pitching a business profile to your local newspaper. Amazing things happen outside your usual zone of comfort.
Consider from time to time when thinking about whether or not to do something – this question…’What’s the worst that could happen?’ So often we blow things up in our minds to the point where we believe it will be a disaster or huge mistake when we don’t even know if that will be the case at all.
Focus only on what is within your control. For everything else – there’s nothing you can do and therefore losing yourself to worry and negative thoughts about it will only drag you down. Build your confidence by only being concerned with what you can truly make a positive impact on.
Just try stuff! Do things and try things. That’s how we grow and build our confidence, not by shying away. There’s a whole world of opportunities out there for you if you’re willing to ‘have a go!’ It may sound cliche but it really is true that we all need to remember you only get one shot at life….you’ll never be back here in the form you are right now so life’s for living and trying and dipping your toes and whole body in. That’s how you build confidence – by trying, doing, believing.
Remember you are a bona fide original and the world needs you. You’re here for a reason and to me that reason is to be the BEST version of YOU that you can be.
Go get ‘em beautiful you. Be proud of who you are and have confidence and belief in the knowledge that you are hear for a reason. The world is waiting for you.