Help! I’m Bra Cursed!
I can’t honestly say I have ever had a really positive bra buying or fitting experience. For me, over the years, bra’s have become one of those necessary things I have to buy, but wish I didn’t. Many a time I’ve got the size wrong. What I thought was initially quite comfortable and fit well, later turned out to be a torture device.
In preparation for a trip I am going on at the end of this month I looked at the bra’s I currently have and realised with great sadness – I needed new ones. I had just gotten used to the ones I had and worn them in beautifully, but truthfully, this is code for them being one step away from total disintegration. I decided to go about things properly, so earlier this week I went into a David Jones department store where I knew I could get professionally fitted. I had been fitted in the past at a specialist bra shop but as we all know our girls move, shift, change size etc over time, so I thought some help was in order. Oh dear. It honestly turned out to be one of the most painful shopping experiences I have ever had.
When I first saw something I liked, I picked it up and a saleswoman came over and said she would help fit it to me and to come through to the change room. I said she could put it in and I would appreciate the help, but I wanted to take in a number of different bra’s that I liked so I could try each of them on. She insisted it would be much better to get my size first and then she would bring me other options. Mistake Number One: Letting her convince me this was the right way to go about things.Into the change rooms we go and I instantly knew as soon as I tried to do up the bra, it was too small for me. It dug into my back, flesh hanging out over the sides and it damn well hurt. I yelled out over the door that I would need other bra’s as it was too small, but my friendly saleswoman insisted she wanted to take a look. Mistake Two: Opening the change room door. She quickly told me it fit perfectly and the cup spillage was supposed to be there. I shot her what I am sure must have been a very dark look and said, “But it’s hurting me and is incredibly uncomfortable. How can that be right?” She pulled the back of the straps and proceeded to say again she thought it was fine and that if I really wanted more room I could buy an extender. For a $50 bra? I don’t think so! I want it to fit properly right from the get go.
I bundled my clothes on again and went back out on the floor. Confidence in my bra fitters skills now somewhat shaken, I said I just wanted to have a look around and choose some I liked and try again. She was fine with this and said she was there if I needed help. Eventually I found a few options to go back into the trenches with. Mistake Three: Not learning from Mistake Two and allowing her to help me again. More of the same. Insisting that bra’s that were too small were fine, and bra’s where I could have fit a small monkey as well as my own boobs in the cup, were not too big. Eventually I had to back out of the whole thing as best I could and go and sit a cafe with a fresh juice to pull myself together! When will my bra shopping curse end I thought? Is it meant to be this bad?
So ladies…I need help. Can any of you please suggest a good store or bra fitter in Melbourne that actually knows what they are doing or an online store where you have found comfortable and nice bra’s that fit properly to your measurements. Could this just be me? Anyone else out there have similar or same experiences or I am really bra cursed and it’s a breeze for others?
Help!
Hey Julie – I so get it! But I have a further challenge, I've had a mastectomy so I have to go to places that stock bras that will fit my prosthesis. I've given up on the idea of having fun buying bras!
YES! I can!!!
She's with Intimo and she's FANTASTIC! She fitted me and now I'm hooked. I used to HATE buying bras, not knowing what styles would fit, let alone the size! Email me and I'll give you her details. She's the best. I don't trust any other Intimo consultant BUT her! 
Fiona – OMG. What an incredible challenge for you – and here's me complaining about cup spillage. I can't even begin to fathom how difficult that must be.
Norlin – You'll be hearing from me!
I'm with you, I hate buying them and trying to get one to fit nicely, looks good and is comfortable is a real pain. What I've found is you need to find what Brand fits your shape best.
I suppose a bit like jeans, once you find that special bra that fits, looks good and is comfortable stick to it:)
I usually buy just the one I think will be good, wear it a few times to make sure it's comfortable, because sometimes after you've worn it a bit it's not, then if it's good, I go and buy more exactly the same, but in different colours.
I HATE bra shopping. I would rather poke my eye out with needles. However – I'm working on an oncology unit at the moment and a lot of the women there have double or single mastectomies and at first it was something I'd avoid talking about when the patient brought it up, but the women seem to want to talk about it. Fiona – there are some places online that sell bras that are fun for women who've had mastectomies. I'll try and find some websites for you if you're interested?
Julie – perhaps if you try a small botique-ey style bra shop the experience will be less painful? (literally and psychologically?)
I have a secret confession. I've always felt too awkward and shy to go and get properly fitted!!!! Yup. I'm a target girl!
Good luck Julie!
Blest bras are an online store that I have found great. They are for those "blest" with a larger cup size! They have a really great range available and you can return them if they don't fit once you actually try it on.
It can be quite a slog to find a bra that fits well – I feel your pain!
With an ample bust, too large for any offerings at DJ's/Myer, I went to Lisa's Lacies (www.lisaslacies.com.au) who do large cup sizes. The bulk of their assortment is super-daggy, but with enormous relief I found a Panache balconette bra called Tango – it fits, has subtle pretty details (not even close to matronly) and is available in lots of colours. It was quite expensive ($100 or so), so I searched online and now buy the same bra from a UK store Bravissimo for around $40 (plus postage). By the looks of it, they have lots of other beautiful bras, but the Tango is their best seller (so I'm guessing the style fits a good range of bodies).
http://www.bravissimo.com/products/lingerie
Good luck!
I am a home sewer and once heard a woman who makes bras – yes actually sews them herself! – say that the fit method they use at dept. stores is incorrect. Dept. stores fit you with a measurement under the bust, and at the full bust point and use the difference to calculate your cup size. She said there are three measurements and what she said made some sense.
The under bust measurement is your band size. That can be any number and does not determine cup size.
Then take the full bust measurement and compare it to another measurement; the upper ribs under the armpits. The difference between the upper measurement and the full bust is your cup size.
I wish I could remember for you how the cup was calculated from the difference but you get the idea, if you have only an inch or two difference you will take a smaller cup size (A-B)than a woman who has say five inches difference (D+).
She advised getting your band size per measurement give or take an inch for comfort and then try on a few different cups in that band size and go with what really fits over what "should" fit. Taking her advice and avoiding the dept. store ladies I have always had a good experience shopping.
Great comments! Here's the thing…you know how if you are overweight, or just a different size and shape to the norm, then you look at cute clothes in shops and sigh to yourself because you know that either you'll never find something that fits, or if you do it just "won't look right"? Well, I know that feeling because I'm overweight. And because I've had a mastectomy, I have it with bras too, because I can't just pop in to any old shop and pick something off the shelf and try it on with at least some expectation of success. Yes, I know that there are special stores, and online shopping, and I have had good experiences, but it all feels like such a production!
And by the way – what is it with bras that seem great in the shop but after a few days of wearing them just aren't right???
That's some seriously crappy customer service you got there Julie. I'm glad you didn't give them any of your money!
Hey Julie, if you're in the eastern suburbs, you might want to try La Figure in Burke Road, Camberwell. I couldn't tell you the name of my fitter (sorry), but when I mustered up the courage to go bra shopping there one Friday night a little while ago it was actually a pretty good experience. I would just hope all the other fitters in the shop are as sensitive and helpful as she was. My friend (an F/G cup sort of gal) has also had good experiences there too in the past.
Awesome — thanks Julie. Was looking for some links to add to the bottom of my recent post about buying a bra.
http://beafunmum.com/2010/09/im-scared-to-buy-a-new-bra/
I just had a very good experience at Big Girls Don't Cry Anymore in Brisbane – I know, wrong part of the country for you, but they DO mail order! (http://www.brastogo.com.au/ – no affils, just a happy customer!)
That woman who tried to tell you bad fit was ok is a lousy sales assistant at the very least. Arrrrgh!
I found the Kissed by Lovable website (http://tiny.cc/87msk) really helpful for an at-home fit. Once I had a general idea of my size I went into the shops and trialed a few different sizes, altered straps etc until I found my perfect fit. I would try Bras & Things. I got fitted there once before.
Hey Julie,
We have all been there! So many times retailers get it wrong and it is because sizing guides are just so different now. Our motto has always been try a couple on yourself after getting a rough idea with a measuring tape of your size and what you already wear and if the back feels too loose, try the size done and if the cup feels too big try a cup size down and so on. Its time consuming, but like you say, its one decision you don’t want to get wrong.
Oh wow! That must have been horrible for you! I have heard this so many times before from friends, family and customers. I wish i could HELP every women in the world, but just dont think i can. If anyone else comes across this post though and is in the same situation i really recommend visiting my website http://www.essentiallingerie.com.au – I have made a VERY accurate Bra Size Calculator which has the same formula i use in-store with my lovely customers and you will find the prices pretty good! I also cater for ALL SIZES!!
Good Luck ladies!