Real Women Come In All Shapes And Sizes

I have written here before at Beautiful You about how outrageously wrong I find tabloid and other media publications writing stories that openly criticise, ridicule and demean celebrities and models based on their appearance.  Stories of weight loss and weight gain abound, as well as close up shots of cellulite, wrinkles and pimples.  Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ellen Pompeo and Mischa Barton are just a few well known women who have copped the wretched wrath of a reporter who has felt it would be a good contribution to the world to label them fat, skeletal, porky, ugly and past it. 

We’ve sadly come to expect such reporting from trashy publications, but it shocks me to often be reading  comments on online news sites, Facebook posts, Twitter and a variety of other outlets, whereby people chime in with either subtle or open agreement.  Most commenters from what I can see are women.  While I’m not going to link to them (there are just simply too many and honestly, some I find really vile) I’m sure many of you have seen the sort of comments I mean.  The ones like “What would she know – she’s thin”, “Are we expected to think that’s a real woman?”, ”She’s a tall, stunning model. What the hell would she know?”

Now I know that some of you are likely to be thinking – that’s not what women who say these things really mean.  It’s about them not being ’everyday’, ‘average’, ‘one of us.’  I can see where that thinking comes from, but surely there must be a better way of drawing that line than saying these women are not ‘real’ based on their supposed glamour and gorgeous looks and lifestyle?  When women say they want to see a ‘real woman’ on the cover of a magazine or in a photo shoot, they immediately infer that models and celebrities are not real women.  They are.  Of course they are.

All of this talk is directly linked to the regular examples of comments I see that infer or claim that anyone (not just a model or celebrity), who is thin - is also not a real woman.  It’s common.  Really common.  So many people seem to think it’s acceptable to say a woman is not real because of the dress size she wears, or the circumference of her arms, or the width of her thighs.  “I’d like to see that outfit on a real woman!” “A woman that size has no idea what it’s like to have real body image issues!” “A real woman does not look like that!”

I place this way of attempting to categorise women based on their size, in the same offensive category as someone saying a woman is not a ’real’ woman because she chooses to not have children, or even can’t have children.  It is judgmental and does nothing but contribute to the objectification of women whereby our bodies and the way we look is the thing seen to be most important about our presence and contribution to the world.

Fact is, women come in all different shapes and sizes and that includes thin.  Whether some people like to accept it or not, some women are naturally thin.  Some are naturally tall and thin.  It’s time to accept that and if anyone really needs to – get over it as well.  Pushing thin women out into the cold by saying they are not real, in comparison to women who are more curvaceous or plus size, is polarising, divisive and only serves to set up an ‘us and them’ mentality.  This comes from a plus size woman. 

So often I have said myself and heard others say as well that what they want to see is for the media, fashion and wider community to have a much fuller and deeper respect and appreciation for diverse beauty.  We want to see, encourage and cheer on women of all different shapes, sizes, ethnicities and abilities.  We want to see more diverse beauty highlighted in magazines and on catwalks and in movies and stories.  But we need to ‘walk the talk’ here.  I genuinely don’t believe anyone can say they believe in positive body image for all women, or contribute to discussions on this topic, if they slap down other women as a means to an end. 

It makes me cringe and simultaneously sad and angry, every time I see women pass judgement on each other in this way.  There is absolutely no need for it.  There is absolutely no merit in it.  There is absolutely nothing positive in it.  Belitting one body type, or models, or celebrities, or women with culturally defined beauty, achieves nothing except the creation of division amongst women based on exactly what so many of us are trying to celebrate and honour – the inherant beauty in us all.

So…I’m a real woman.  Here me roar.  If you’re breathing and believe yourself to be a genuine human being, you’re a real woman.  You should get your roar on too.  When it all comes down to it, I believe that most women are genuine, and honest, and giving and authentic – all of the things that make up a real person.  The size of clothes I wear plays no part in my genuineness or realness and of course neither should it for you, or anyone else. 

Let’s stop passing judgement on each other based on our size and appearance.  As women we all know we are so much more than what we look like.  So much more.  Let’s not divide ourselves into categories, or boxes or labels in an objectifying way.  Let’s encourage each other to be indefinably amazing instead by allowing all of us, no matter what our shape or size, to just ‘be.’

Love your thoughts on this one Beautiful You.  This affects us all.