Dear Love Handles,
We have been together a long time now. Nearly all my life, apart from that time when I was a bit on the skinny side and you went AWOL. Your back now and while I know we have our good days and not so good days, I appreciate and respect that you are part of me. Therefore, dear love handles, I embrace you.
I feel it necessary therefore to offer you a humble apology for what we saw this morning. Who knew when I went to the bathroom at Sydney airport that on the back of the toilet door I would be confronted with an ad that said ‘Too Much Love To Handle?” and a photo of a distressed looking woman staring disgustingly at her love handles? She had on nice knickers and looked to be a beautiful, healthy size to me, but gee, did she and her handles appear distressed. I know it was not a pretty sight for you to see.
Because I felt the need to defend you, I looked up the website of the company that displayed such hatred towards you, and found further horrible things. It seems there is a conspiracy against you my friends, as there is for cellulite, tummy rolls and many other parts of our beautiful, natural bodies. Apparently “the dream of natural beauty is now a reality” but it would seem that for anyone to realise this dream they need to pay out thousands of dollars, have lots of before and after photo’s taken, lift their boobs up to their neck, douse themselves in cellulite cream and have their lips ‘enhanced.’ There’s no enhancement for you my love handles though – you are deemed ugly and digusting to the point where you must be eradicated.
This ‘love handle hatred’ lead me to another website which also was not kind to you. This site tried to convince me that all fat needed to be ZAPPED from people’s bodies because…
Say what? I know you were as shocked as I was to read this as of course, anyone with even just half a brain knows that we actually need fat in our bodies to like, um, protect our internal organs, have babies, and so many other neat things required to…live. Seems these people think that for anyone to look and feel their best they must get rid of their fat and look like the bikini babe on the front page. I think they are trying to say if you give them lots of money and have your fat zapped away, you will look like that. Really? No, not really dear love handles and I am quite sure there are many people who have gone “the zap” only to find that not only do they not end up looking like the bikini babe, but that indeed you, that is, their love handles, simply reappear at a later stage. Why does this happen? Well, I know for me that you are a part of my natural shape. When I am healthy and well, you form the curve and shape of my upper hips. You are just there. How horrible then that these self esteem destroying companies are trying desperately to tell me you are not worthy of being part of my body and I must get rid of you, as they are for everyone else that sees their ads.
It’s not fair, I know. All I can do is tell you that I won’t be zapping, or wrapping, or having any non-invasive or (eek!) invasive procedure. As you are a part of my whole body, that would not be kind to you. Neither would it be kind to my wallet and I would so much rather spend my money on taking you to yoga and buying you blue cheese which I know you really, really love. I hope other people feel the same way about their love handles as I do and not see them as something horrible. For many, many people they are simply a part of their shape and are even required to keep their jeans up without a belt! What’s that? You feel discriminated against like cankles and man boobs? Well…
We’re still friends my love handles. I’ll try to be a bit more careful next time about the bathroom stall I choose, but I know you do understand that when you need to tinkle, you need to tinkle. Next time I’ll hang my handbag over the door so you can’t see such horrible ads discriminating against you. Maybe we should put my head and your handles together and come up with a campaign that encourages people the world over to take a moment while they are tinkling to think a positive, loving thought about their body, rather than one that insights body hatred. That would be nice yes? Yes. It certainly would be.
Love Jules xo
Image: A Passion For Letter Writing
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh Julie. You're such a fantastic writer! I'd totally be part of that campaign!
Amazing! Love this open letter!
You are following your calling Julie, it's very clear! There are few voices like yours, I'm sure you are making a big difference
xxx
Thank you for making me laugh – I love this post. And i wanted to tell you that after reading Beautiful You and other blogs that you have recommended, I found myself consciously making a decision to love myself and my shape. I was shopping online for a cocktail dress for my hubby's work function and was looking at dresses which covered up as much as possible while still looking decent. Then i came across a gorgeous frock that was young and cheerful and fun. I looked at it and thought – why can't i wear this? Of course i can – i love it and it would make me feel happy to wear such a great dress. I'm sick of hiding myself and feeling bad about my size. So i bought it and i'm looking forward to it arriving in the mail soon!
Thank you for the inspiration! It is appreciated and highly valued!
Bronwyn Johnson
Oh, Jules. What a wonderful way to start my morning!!
Thank you. I especially enjoyed the phrase, "lift their boobs up to their neck." I almost spewed my coffee all over my computer from laughing. Don't worry. I managed to swallow it first.
You are absolutely right – saying that fat is something optional and must be gotten rid of in order to look good is preposterous. Anyone with basic knowledge of anatomy and physiology could tell those bozos that, while in a man the internal organs are protected by the thicker heavier layer of stomach and side muscles, in a woman, this function is performed both by muscles and by fat.
Fat is more "squishy" and provides better thermal layer. Even if we cannot or prefer not to have children, we still have to protect our uterus and allow it the flexibility to expand and contract as we go through our cycle. Besides, all of our other internal organs need that cushion too. That's the way women evolved. I am not encouraging obesity to a point of diabetes and heart attack. However, maintaining a healthy fat layer is ESSENTIAL and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
This was so wonderful! A bit cheeky and fun, but tons of truth to behold. If we could only write every part of our body love letters, refer to them when we are feeling down, maybe we could appreciate them every day! Thank you, Julie, for being fabulous and truthful!
i love this~ thank you for what you're doing here
Truly, seriously from the bottom of my heart – I know I have the BEST readers and commenters in the world! Thank you all for your kind feedback and positive thoughts here – you have made my (and my love handles) day.
Bronwyn- Go you good thing! Go! I have no doubt you will look stunning in that dress. No doubt. So glad you decided to show yourself off in something bright rather than cover up in something drab. Love, love to see a photo…
I love this!! I've seen that ad too and all it did was make me think horrible thoughts of myself while I "tinkled"! I love your idea of having positive thoughts of our bodies displayed in toilet cubicles instead!
Your post made me smile Julie. If only every woman could read this and develop the same feelings towards their "trouble zones." Thank you for being such an inspiration!
Yay for you Julie. Nothing would make me happier than to see diversity celebrated. We're all different and we're all attracted to something different – so why on earth would we strive for sameness?
Thank goodness the world has people like you in it! We all need reminding that we're gorgeous and fabulous and utterly unique!